You Old Bastard

You know when you have passed the mark of being young when you wake up with pain in places that you did not know you had or that could hurt that much. The other morning I woke up to leg cramps. I have not had pain like that, ever. You want to get up and walk it off, but if you stand up you will just fall back down and hurt something else. I think Sinbad said it best “you know you are old when you hurt yourself while brushing your teeth”. There was a time that I could bend over and pick things up off the floor and not make any noise. Now I am making grunting, cracking or popping sounds and if I get to the floor it actually takes more effort to get up than it does just to crawl to my chair or just take a nap where I am. well I am talking about naps, now I know how my dad could just sit down and fall asleep. He was fucking exhausted from working all day and chasing my ass around the rest of the day when i was a kid, now it all makes sense. Now, back to this getting old thing that I was talking about. I don’t know about you but when I really feel old is when I’m at work and I say something from the mid 80’s and most of the people around me look at me the way a dog looks at you when you are talking to them. An then they say “oh yeah I have heard my mom/dad say that before” then I realize that most of the people I work with were born late 80’s or early 90’s that is when I just brush them off as young wiper snappers. Now I know I am not that old at the ripe old age of 41 but if I hurt this much now I guess I will need a wheel chair at 55. I do look forward to being a crotchety old man “get off my lawn!!! You little bastard” you know the way I see it if I make it to 70+ I have earned the right to be that way.